Rose, For Love
by TheStoryOf14
Summary: Ron thought they would be together, Hermione thought not. Now Hermione is pregnant and alone, there's a law that says she has to get married, and she still doesn't know that Ron is in love with her. Not bad for someone with the emotional range of a teaspoon, right? Same universe as Back To You, T for some language
1. Part 1

**Authors note: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling. Full credit goes to her for all situations and information mentioned in any of the 7 books or interviews, etc. as well. However, the storyline of this fanfic is all me and the little voice in my head – and thus, of course, not to be copied by anybody else – that would be stealing my creativity, my ideas – and not very nice**

**A/N 2: this story is part of the same universe as Back To You. I warn you: I'm seriously going to mess around with everything that has been supposed to happen in the 19 years before the epilogue!**

* * *

I just didn't get why she had to make it so difficult, you know? I mean, sure, we fought more than any couple I could think of, but then again, we made up every time as well, you know. And sure, we were both stubborn, but when did matching each other ever become a bad thing? We friggin' kissed, and she could tell herself as many times as she liked that it didn't mean anything, that it was just something done in the spur of the moment, just something that happened because of the war, or whatever, but I knew that wasn't true, and I was pretty darn sure that she knew it just as well as I did.  
Really, and then she was telling me that _I_ had the emotional range of a teaspoon? As if!

I just didn't get it, you know? I mean, it'd been almost seven years since the war ended, and for some reason she just refused to acknowledge that the kiss ever happened - and she was the one to instigate it, for crying out loud! I had to admit that I'd hoped she would do the same after the battle, after the war, had ended. It was like that one kiss, that one short moment had shown me exactly why I hadn't liked her going to the ball with Krum, why the thought of her kissing him had made feel sick, and why her going to Slughorn's Christmas with Cormac Mclaggen had made it increasingly difficult for me not to hit the guy every time I saw him with yet another girl, wearing that stupid grin that said girl would probably be swooning over. Ugh, disgusting.

As I said, I had hoped that she would perhaps instigate another kiss, or try to get me alone some time, or even (hey, a guy can hope, right?) ask me out. She didn't though. She just sort of drowned herself with work, trying to reform everything and everyone, and completely ignoring the fact that we shared that kiss. Oh, she was perfectly nice to everybody, me included, and we'd all be really good palls, but she just didn't recognize the fact that, for a minute there, we could've been something more - hell, in my mind we already were!

And I knew what you were going to think: "So, you ask her out!" - and trust me, I would've done exactly that. But I couldn't. I mean, I was trying to actually realize that my irritating, annoyingly funny, incredibly clever big brother was just gone. And at the same time, my "so annoying that it starts to be funny"-brother came back to us, and needed our help to believe that it wasn't his fault. And somehow, in the middle of that whole mess, I just couldn't, you know?  
I mean, how was I supposed to ask her out if I wasn't even sure how I felt about feeling that way about her, when I felt guilty every single time I laughed, when it felt like I'd been stabbed in the gut anytime anybody mentioned him, when I was fighting to make George realise that, yes, there was still a point to his life, when...

I just couldn't.

By the time I had put a semblance of my old life back together, she'd started dating some bloke from the ministry whom she'd met when she was trying to lobby for the House Elf Rights Decree - he was her opponent, but changed 'sides' after dating Hermione for two weeks.  
Honestly, the woman could make a left go right if she were to set her mind to it.  
After two years, they broke up, according to Ginny because he wasn't enough of a challenge for her anymore. I didn't really know what she meant by that, and I was too busy trying to not care about what she did and did not do anymore, to try and find out.

About four months later she started dating Blaise Zabini. After the war it'd turned out that although the Zabini's most certainly supported the ideological points of You-Know-Who's (sorry, Harry: _Voldemort_) regime, they had only migrated to Britain after the first war had ended, and so they'd managed to remain neutral during the second war, ready to proclaim they'd always supported whoever it was that won.  
For some reason, this struck me as being more Slytherin than the rest of the bunch put together - they chose survival above anything else.

I had no idea what he was playing at, starting to date her.

I didn't like her dating him one bit, I have to admit, but I did realise that I had no right to tell her so. Not when I'd began avoiding the Burrow any time she was there, because I just couldn't, just honestly could not sit there, and listen to her talking to Ginny about how happy she was. Not when I'd started seeing Lavender again.  
And then Ginny left and she just sort of stopped coming to the Burrow altogether. By the time Ginny got back, Hermione'd moved in with him, and the two of them would go on double dates with with their respective boyfriends, and she wouldn't really go out a lot apart from that and I'd just be sitting at home because Lavender had broken things off with me. I didn't blame her, really we both knew we were just staying together because neither of us liked being alone and we both had an 'unrequited' love - apparently Lavender had been in love with Dean Thomas for years, but he'd been waiting for Padma Patil to give him the light of day. When she got married, he finally managed to get over her and see what (or better: who) had been in front of him all along. And to be honest, I was happy for her, really, it just hurt a bit that I couldn't have that.

Blaise Zabini.

I mean, I guess I really should've been happy, it could've been worse, it could've been Draco Malfoy. And they seemed happy, you know - she seemed happy.

But I didn't trust it - him.

And I hated it, but I turned out to be right.

On May 8, I came home to find Hermione there, crying on Ginny's shoulder, Harry pacing in front of them.  
When little James needed to have his diaper changed and started to cry, she seemed to freeze and then just started sobbing even more uncontrollably, more desperately.

It was only after she'd left that I heard what had happened - Harry was furious, but Ginny actually was unable to speak - and like my mom, that was the point where she became dangerous.

Apparently, things had been steadfastly deteriorating lately, and matters had come to a breaking point a couple of days earlier. Hermione had been feeling for 2 weeks and had finally decided to go see a nurse. What she heard there, had been more than a little shock. After all, when you're using constant anticonception potions, being pregnant wasn't exactly the first thing that came to mind when you felt sick.  
Zabini's reaction to the news had been less than ideal. Hermione had been expecting shock, joy, wonder, questions, ... but what she got was the directions to the door and a not so polite request (read: order) to give back her key. Apparently she had been good enough to warm his bed, but the thought of 'fathering' the 'spawn' of one of 'her blood' seemed to never have crossed Zabini's mind, nor did he see any need to pollute his family line by adding one of 'her blood' to it.

Without a place to call home, ashamed and humiliated, she'd been staying in a hotel up to now. That morning, she'd received a letter from the Ministry, stating that according to the 1684 Marriage Law, paragraph 3, clause D, sub-clause 4, no child was to be born to a single woman. Should such a woman be impregnated, then she could be forced to mary any man who volunteered to 'take her'. There were only two problems with this: the first was that she was pregnant, in other words impure, and this would greatly diminish any chances of getting a man sho didn't just want a woman to give him an heir and then preferably stay out of sight until either one of them died. There were stories going around about men forcefully aborting the unborn child and any girl that might be conceived later - a procedure which was both very painful and very dangerous for the woman.  
The second problem was that, because of her blood status, loathe though she may be to admit it, she had even less rights than any other woman in the pure blood society.

As it turned out, Zabini hadn't been contented with just rendering her homeless, knocked-up and alone - he decided he needed to take her freedom as well.

When Hermione heard that the only person who'd volunteered was George Crabbe, who had somehow managed to escape Azkaban and was now in desperate need of a new heir and the person who had officially pulled that Law from the depths of the Ministry (_not_ being used), she'd finally come to the Burrow to ask for help.

What she didn't know, though, was that, as of that night, there was another candidate.

Me.

* * *

**A/N Yes, I know, another new story, and I haven't updated The Sorting, Leaving Home and Judge of Character for forever - the problem is, though, that I've hit a block with the three of those, but I lost the outline for those three stories, and I've had the outline for this one ready since forever, so I decided to just post it already, and hope that writing this one will somehow help me retrieve my inspiration for the other ones - wish me luck :) Anyway: please let me know what you thought!**


	2. Part 2

**Authors note: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling. Full credit goes to her for all situations and information mentioned in any of the 7 books or interviews, etc. as well. However, the storyline of this fanfic is all me and the little voice in my head – and thus, of course, not to be copied by anybody else – that would be stealing my creativity, my ideas – and not very nice**

* * *

It wasn't easy at first. I mean, we'd gone from enemies, to best friends, to kissing, to only sort of acknowledging the other's existence. And now we were married.

I knew I was having trouble wrapping my head around it, so I didn't even dare to ask her how she felt - I mean, going from living together to pregnant and homeless to married with some random guy - it couldn't have been easy on her.  
For starters, it was obvious that she wasn't, not in the slightest, over Zabini. She'd be sad all the time, she'd flinch away from me anytime I touched her, hell, half the time she was actively trying to avoid being in the same room as me.  
But you know what, I could've handled all that if it weren't for one thing. It wasn't something I was supposed to know or hear about. It was something I overheard her say to Ginny. My team had managed to solve a case that we'd been working on for months, and Harry'd given all of us the rest of the day off. So I'd bought some flowers, and I was planning to (finally) talk things through, to try and figure out how we were going to handle this. In the three weeks since our wedding (if you could even call two guests and a crying bride that) she'd managed to avoid actually talking to me. But there were protocols and potions to be sorted through, so I went home, and then I heard her.

"I just don't know, Ginny, I mean, Ron keeps on trying to discuss everything, but I just don't want to, you know? I mean, I know there's this potion that I'm supposed to take so that the child will look as if it's his - but if I do that, then what reason would Blaise have to take me back?"

To hear her say his name like that, almost caressing, so tender, and to hear her say, not just hope silently like I knew she'd been doing constantly, it made me feel sick, how could she still be so-

"But Hermione, you do realise that the odds of him coming back for you are rather small, don't you? And you're married to Ron now, remember? And even then, I mean, why would you want him to come back for you? I mean, he's the reason you're in this situation in the first place, if he hadn't..."

I really just wanted to hug Ginny then and there, thank Merlin she'd found the courage to tell Hermione that. She needed to hear it, but even I knew that hearing it from me would do absolutely nothing to help the two of us getting along. I had barely finished that thought, though, when I heard what her reply was.

"But Ginny, I just don't believe it, you know? We loved each other, I mean, we _love_ each other! Sure, he was shocked when he heard about our baby and he didn't react in the most optimal way, but that doesn't _have_ to mean anything, surely? At least, it can't be a reason to assume that he called that Law into action, can it? I mean, it was Crabbe who jumped at the opportunity, and you know just as well as I do that he's really close to those guys who go over those things. And even Ron seemed very eager to get this opportunity, but I made sure our marriage hasn't been consummated yet, at least that way I'll be able to overturn it when Blaise - And anyway, it wasn't of any use whatsoever to Blaise, so how can you know it was him then?"_  
_

And now I was in shock.  
How could she have become so delusional? What had happened to the always-rational girl I used to know? And how could she possibly think that I was just as bad as Crabbe? Crabbe, of all people!

"Hermione, I love you like a sister and I know that this is a really hard time for you right now, but I'm not gonna sit here and listen to you bad-mouthing my brother, okay? He's spent hours looking up laws and precedents trying to get you out of this, he had to debate against Crabbe, he gave up on the girl he's been in love with since forever to make sure you wouldn't be submitted to that jerk's every whim and he's willing to be with you as friends and not force you into anything. And don't even think that he's as much as hinted at consummating your marriage - he respects you way too much to do such a thing! And if you're telling yourself anything different, it's a lie and you know it! So no, Hermione, I'm not going to just listen to this!"

It literally hurt to have to stand there and listen to them discussing me like this, but as I saw Hermione shooting Ginny a knowing smile, I couldn't help but hold my breath so as to not miss a single word of what she was going to say.

"Oh please Ginny, he just jumped at the opportunity to get one on a Slytherin, he hates them, he still calls them snakes! There's absolutely no other reason, he probably thought that his marrying me would detain Blaise from coming to see me, he just doesn't see that we love each-"

Ginny was standing now, and almost fuming as she yelled "Merlin, Hermione! Would you just listen to yourself? When did my brother ever do anything like that? He may be a prat, but he's honest and he's a good man Hermione! And he's my brother and your husband, he deserves more than that, than you!"  
She seemed to suddenly calm down as she said: "I think I should go."

She was walking to the door now, and I tried to step back into the shadows in the hallway, but it was too late, I knew she'd seen me. Her eyes shone with sympathy, but she managed to keep on walking as if nothing had happened. Then, suddenly, Hermione was talking again in a much softer voice.

"Wait, Ginny, you - you said he gave up on someone for me - who is it?"

I was shaking my head now, silently begging Ginny not to say anything.

"Is it Lavender?"

To this, Ginny turned around, and I could almost see her eyes blazing at Hermione.

"That doesn't anymore now, does it, Hermione? Because you made it so that not only will it probably never happen for him, but he won't even have his best friend to confide in anymore. Talk about a sacrifice."

And with those parting words, she turned around and walked out the door.  
I followed her as soon as I was sure Hermione wouldn't notice me leaving.

* * *

When I came back home later that night, Hermione had already gone to bed. Sitting in the kitchen, waiting for the water to start boiling, I couldn't help but wonder how all of this had turned into such a mess. I mean, it seemed simple didn't it? She would be able to get married to someone who'd give her a chance at a happy life -we were (once) best friends, we'd even survived the horcrux-hunt together!  
By the time the deadline had passed to send in your candidacy as a potential husband, I'd already managed to rent a two-bedroom apartment and I had prepared my debate against Crabbe; I still had some free days for that month, and after calling in a few favors, I managed to get the week of - I spend all my time looking for anything that could help us - her.  
Needless to say, I didn't find anything even remotely helpful. Somehow, I couldn't help but notice the irony of the matter - the woman who had fought for years to give any magical creature the same rights as humans, was now caught up in a law that labeled her as little more than one of those creatures.

And then even the reality of telling them my plan, turned out quited different then what I'd thought - hoped. When Hermione heard that I was the second candidate, she left the room without looking at me even once. Harry was just staring at me as if he'd really seen me for the very first time, and Ginny pulled me out of the room, hit me, and then demanded that I tell her what the hell I was on about - or else...

When she heard my reasoning, though, she actually apologized, and said it was very honorable of me, but 'a warning would've been nice, you prat'. The next thing she asked me, though, got me by surprise: "So you want to marry her because at least that way she'd be sure to have a chance at being happy? I don't suppose it might just have anything to do with the whole 'no, I don't need you to set me up, I already have someone in mind'-thing that you have going on?"

At my silence, she suddenly gasped "It does, doesn't it? Ron, you - you like Hermione!" Seeing that I was avoiding her eyes, as I denied it, she started singing "Ron and Hermione, sitting in a tree, ..."  
Finally I couldn't help myself anymore: "I don't like her, okay - I love her! I always have, and she's pregnant with another man's child! So why don't we just get our facts straight - it's never going to happen! So could you please stop singing now? Someone might hear you!"  
Ginny just smirked, gave me a bonecrushing hug and left the room. I assume she went on to tell Harry about it, because the next time I saw him (at the debate, he'd come to support Hermione ànd me) he just wished me good luck and went to sit next to Ginny.

I don't really remember all that much from the next couple of hours. I just saw how sad Hermione looked, and how she kept glancing at the door - in retrospect, she was probably hoping that Zabini would storm in and save her day.

The next thing I knew, Crabbe Sr. glared at me and stormed out of the door. Then Hermione, Harry, Ginny and me were walking out the door, through the hall, into the elevator, to the office of the guy who would wed us.  
It turned out that it was the guy she'd dated before Zabini - now our wedding day really couldn't get any worse...  
Should I have seen that as a bad omen? A sign that we would be followed by the past forever?  
Perhaps.  
But that was that, and then we were married, and now, apparently, she hated me.

And I would have to get up tomorrow, and know it, and be nice to her, as if nothing'd happened.

Because I was her husband.

Because I love her.

* * *

**A/N Well, here you go: Chapter 2! I'd originally planned for this fic to be about 3 chapters and 6000 words, but seen as this whole chapter wasn't supposed to be more than one third of the actual second chapter, I guess I'm going to have to reconsider that - I guess my pen just sort of got going... :) Anyway, now you know almost everything that's happened up to this point, and the story will probably really get going the next chapter - any feedback is more than welcome!**


	3. Part 3

**Authors note: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling. Full credit goes to her for all situations and information mentioned in any of the 7 books or interviews, etc. as well. However, the storyline of this fanfic is all me and the little voice in my head – and thus, of course, not to be copied by anybody else – that would be stealing my creativity, my ideas – and not very nice**

**A/N 2: This chapter is (part of) the main reason that this story is listed as angst - it's sad, might be triggering for some, and just in short- angsty. If that bothers you, consider yourself "warned"**

* * *

She still hoped.  
That's what bothered me the most.

* * *

She hadn't heard from him for over a month, and yet she still hoped.  
I was there when she was hanging over the toilet, I was there when she was bad-tempered, I was there when she came home from being laughed at all day by those men who called theirselves her co-workers, I was there when she had her first echography, and he wasn't there for anything.  
And still, she hoped.

We'd been married for over a month now, and all I got was silence, or the occasional cold shoulder when I expressed my worry about her.  
It was like she was fading away, almost as if she'd given up - I just didn't know on what. Me? Zabini? Her baby? Herself?  
When we'd gone to the gynaecologist, almost a month ago now, he'd told me she really needed to eat more, that it wasn't good for the baby and that it wasn't healthy for herself, the way she was acting now.  
But she was just getting skinnier, and ate even less than before.  
And at the same time, the morning sickness seemed to keep getting worse. After she'd come home early for the fifth day in a row, I'd made her take leave for the next three months. It killed me to see her like that, and somehow I hoped that, perhaps, if I could spend more time with her, make sure she ate healthy, exercised a little, anything really, she'd get better.

It was right after she'd begun staying home that we had our first actual fight. Thus far we'd mostly just tried to leave each other be. This time, though, she had barely eaten anything because of the nausea and I'd thought it would be a good idea to tell her that she needed to eat something.  
Very much the wrong thing to say.

"Oh really, now, Ron? Do I need to eat something? Oh my, I truly had no idea! And do tell me, why in Merlin's name would I eat something just because you said so? Since when do you have anything to say about what I do or do not eat?"

I could see where she was going with this, really, it was blatantly obvious, and I couldn't help but wonder, hope, that perhaps it would help, you know, that maybe if she got it all of her chest things would get better, we'd be able to actually talk again, you know?

"What do you want then? Just tell me already, Hermione! What do you want? What can I do to stop you from doing this yourself, to ou- to your baby?"

And there I made a mistake, I had yet to hear her acknowledge the baby as in any way connected to or having the potential to be connected to me, and I'd basically just claimed it.  
And she was the smartest witch of her age - of course she noticed that.

"Our baby? You were going to say our baby, weren't you? It's not ours, okay, it's got nothing to do with you- it's mine, and Blaise's, and not yours, never yours! It was never supposed to happen like this, don't you see? Blaise was supposed to do all this with me, and I just can't believe that he would just - And then you just had to butt in, and I thought you were supposed to be my friend and I never thought that he'd - or that you could-"

By now she was crying and trying to maintain a trace of consistency, and it was the first time I had actually seen this much, or any, feeling from her, and it was because of (or for) him, and I knew that right now she just needed-

"Fine, it's not my baby, and it doesn't have to be. I don't need to be it's father. But you do _need_ a friend!"

"I don't _need_ anything but Blaise, okay? I need him, he can make this better, and he can make everything okay again, and he can stop me from feeling so absolutely miserable all of the time, and I need- I _need_ him and..."

She was lost beyond words now, and I could see her trying to breathe, trying to regain some self-control, but I already knew what I needed to tell her - it might hurt me, but she needed to hear it. And in its own way, it really was true...

"Fine, you need him! But would you at least, please, let me be your friend? I don't need to be its father, but you can't do this alone, Hermione, and if Zabi-, sorry, _Blaise_, comes for you, you're free to go, I'll let you! Do you hear me? You can go! But until he does, please, just- Just let me be your friend now? Just let me help you Hermione, please? Hermione, just please!"

And now she was just crying, and trying to stop sobbing, and curling up as if she were trying to just disappear, so I just hugged her, and she stiffened at first, but then she leaned in to me, and I had a feeling that this was the first time she'd cried since all of this started, and I just kept repeating "Let me be your friend, Hermione, please." and she just kept on crying until I finally noticed that she'd fallen asleep.

So I picked her up, carried her to her bedroom, and tucked her in. And as I saw her relax for the first time in weeks, as I saw the little frown that had gotten stuck between her brows disappear, I told her one last time "I'll be your friend, Hermione, as long as you need me, I'll be your friend"

* * *

After that, things gradually started to get better.  
She still wouldn't talk to me about it, about him, about how we were supposed to make this work, about if we were going to try to make this work, but personally, I thought even that was a major improvement.  
At least she didn't seem to think I was out to 'get one on a snake' through her, or whatever.  
And she let me be her friend again - that was the best part of it, I think.

I would go with her to any appointments she may have, I'd check on her to see if she needed anything, she started eating a little more, ...  
It wasn't ideal, and I knew it wasn't what she really wanted, but we managed.

When she had her second appointment at the gynaecologist, he said that although her weight had gotten slightly better (she was almost back to her pre-pregnancy weight), her blood pressure still wasn't optimal, and neither was the fact that her morning sickness seemed to get worse still. Then he went on to prescribe her a lot of bedrest, told her to stay calm and to avoid stress of any kind, and gave me the advice to try and always be there for her. He ended the consult by asking me if something had happened between the both of us, because we 'seemed much more attuned'.

When she came home and didn't complain once, but went straight to bed, I realized that we had, indeed, made a lot of progress when compared to just a month back.  
When she gave me a list of books she 'hadn't had time to read yet, so could (I) please get them for her?', I got the feeling that maybe, just maybe, we might actually be able to make this work.

* * *

About a week later, there was this thing at the Ministry that everybody who worked there was invited to - attendance obligatory.  
Because the both of us technically worked for the Ministry (although she was on sickleave and most of the Aurors liked to pretend we were independent), we decided to just go together - because that was how well we actually managed to get along again.

When she came out of her bedroom, I was breath-taken. You could still see she'd lost too much weight, the dress hung off her a bit, she refused to look up from the ground - and I thought she was absolutely gorgeous. When I told her that, she just smiled a bit, but I could see her push back her shoulders a bit, hold her head just a bit higher, and I started to get the feeling that this night might just turn out to be fun.

We arrived, met up with Harry and Ginny (who was pregnant _again_ already - I really didn't need that visual reminder of what my baby sister and my best mate - just no, not a good mental image), and went to find our places.  
And the evening actually did turn out to be fun. There was some music, a bit of awkward dancing, some boring speeches, an announcement that the annual May Second-Party would be celebrated on (surprise surprise!) May 2, jokes were made, bets were placed on how long this and that couple would stay together - and then someone mentioned his name.  
It was a stupid thing really, something about how he'd thought Zabini wouldn't show, but he had - and I could feel Hermione sitting just that bit straighter next to me, glancing over her shoulder, trying to unobtrusively look for him.  
She didn't find him though.  
But then again, he did come to us.

We were just going to get our coats (Hermione'd finally given up on her not-so-inconspicious attempts to locate him) when we, quite literally, ran into him.  
Him and his very pregnant, very wearing-a-giant-ring companion.

The look on Hermione's face as she noticed the ring broke my heart.  
The way she tried to be brave and greet him, but didn't get much further than 'Hi, Blaise, how a-' before she was cut off by his putting his hand on the woman's stomach rather possessively, made me want to kick him where it would hurt most, regardless of where we were.

Then the woman introduced herself.  
"Hello, I'm Blanche Beaulieu! I take it you know my fiancé?" Hermione's gasp was loud enough to be heard by anybody standing within a 5 metres-radius, but the girl kept on talking. "We've been so happy these past months, but I'm just so glad he finally took me somewhere - I was starting to think he was ashamed of me! To think that this little one will be here in 2 months, and he'd never even introduced me to his friends! _C'était abominable__!_", finishing her speech with a giggle that reminded me strangely of Umbridge.  
Two months left - that meant they'd been together for at least seven months. During five of those, he was also seeing Hermione, pretending to love her, sleeping with her, getting her pregn-

I barely had time to move as I saw Hermione fall from the corner of my eye. I just managed to grab her, and gently put her on the floor, trying to remember what you were supposed to do when someone fainted.  
Finally settling on just softly slapping her cheek, I didn't notice that Zabini had come closer as well - or at least, I didn't until he whispered in my ear "Enjoying my left-overs, are we, _Weasley?_"  
As I moved to turn and retaliate, he got back up, offered _Blanche_ his arm and led her away, leaving me to wake Hermione up and apparate her home.

As she walked to her room, I could hear her start to cry softly.  
When I brought her a hot chocolate, she refused to leave her place next to the window, face turned to one of the trees on the square - the one that had recently had some trouble remaining standing when the wind got rough.  
By the time I'd gotten her to change into her pyjamas, she was shivering and sweating at the same time, and I'd already decided to call a doctor if she hadn't gotten better by tomorrow.

* * *

That night, I was woken up by the sound of a scream, followed by sobbing, and as I ran to Hermione's room, I could hear her crying "no" to herself, over and over again.  
When I entered her room, it was to see her sitting up straight, hugging herself, cradling back and forward, surrounded by sheets drenched in something that frighteningly resembled blood.

* * *

She'd still hoped.  
And I guess, that's what made it hurt so much.

* * *

**Okay, as I said - not a happy chapter. About a couple of remarks some people made in their reviews/PM's: the 'potion' mentioned in the last chapter is totally irrelevant to the plot - I'd go back and take it out, but quite frankly, I actually do like the idea of such a potion (it is used rather perfectly in Digging for the Bones, by Paganaidd, and I've read other stories incorporating it as well), I just won't actually be using it. Also: I already have this whole story planned out (or at least all the major events), so I'm not actually changing all that much because of something someone said - if I get an actual event wrong, I'll change it, but the storyline for this one is pretty much set. I hope that cleared things up a bit :) Anyway, as usual, feel free to let me know what she thought **


	4. Part 4

**Authors note: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling. Full credit goes to her for all situations and information mentioned in any of the 7 books or interviews, etc. as well. However, the storyline of this fanfic is all me and the little voice in my head – and thus, of course, not to be copied by anybody else – that would be stealing my creativity, my ideas – and not very nice**

**A/N 2: This chapter is (part of) the main reason that this story is listed as angst - it's sad, might be triggering for some, and just in short- angsty. If that bothers you, consider yourself "warned"**

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There was too much quiet.

When she was crying, and yet somehow managed not to make a sound.  
When I carried her to the bathroom, to clean her up a bit and to give her a change of clothes.  
When I apparated us to St. Mungo's.  
When I held her hand as the healer told us that what we - what _she_ feared was true.  
When I carried her home, and she had that look on her face that I hadn't seen since those days after Malfoy Manor when she was trying to come to terms with everything in Shell Cottage.

But at least then, she'd allowed us to comfort her, she'd let Harry talk to her, she'd let me hug her.

This time, she seemed to have retreated into herself. It was almost as if now, with the final link to Blaise broken, she'd finally realized what had happened.

Somewhere, in the very back of my head, I noticed that I too, was hurt - but I dismissed it as something that "I would just have to deal with later", that I could be sad for the child I'd missed as well, later. Right now Hemione was so much more important.

Because she'd just lost everything.

She'd been so stuck on the fact that it had to be a misunderstanding, that of course he would come back for her, that somehow it seemed to hit her even harder now.

Now that she'd seen him - and that woman.

I couldn't help but wonder if she knew, that French girl. If she realized that she'd been talking to the woman her fiance had been screwing around with. To the woman who was so much better than she was, in every aspect, intelligence, beauty, kindness, ... I wondered if she even knew that her dear fiance _had_ been screwing around with somebody else. If she didn't I suppose I'd have to feel sorry for her, but somehow I couldn't, because my thoughts were stuck on Blaise.

Before, he'd just been a jerk who needed to start thinking with the right head and needed to have a responsibility-transplantation.  
Now, though, he'd suddenly turned into so much more. A cheater, a liar, a bigot, a prejudiced bastard even? Someone who had no problem keeping someone on the sides, but would not live with the consequences of his actions - someone who, in short, I'd not that long ago would've called a classic Slytherin.

But then again, just look at Daphne Greengrass, and Tracey Davis, and - loath though I may be to admit it - even _Draco Malfoy_ - they'd all managed to turn their lifes around, to actually become people I wouldn't have minded getting to know. So I guess, what it really came down to, was just that Blaise Zabini was nothing more or less than a natural, inherent bastard.

A part of me - the part of me that'd always wanted to become an Auror, the part that couldn't stand injustice, was screaming at me to go and get him, to make sure he got the exact amount of justice he'd earned. And then there was that other part of me, the part that loved Hermione more than anything or anybody else, the part that wanted to make her feel better, the part that wanted to heal any wounds that guy had given her. And that part was the part that had told me that she needed a friend more than anything, and she still did, now more than ever.

She'd changed in so many ways since Hogwarts, she'd become more mature, she'd started to take advice from other people, she'd opened up to people she'd been afraid to show her true self to before, she'd become (if possible) even more beautiful - but even after all of that, she was still the girl who thought she wouldn't fit in and desperately needed to prove that she did.

And really, that was probably what made it so hard on her now as well.

Apart from the obvious - she'd had her heart broken, she'd lost the child she wanted so badly. And above all that, she'd somehow not measured up. She'd been proven not good enough, and it was as if that last part had broken any resistance she normally would've leaned on to recover from the former two.

But at least she had us.

Harry came by daily, Ginny was more often here than not, and I - I barely left the house.

I hoped that if I could just be there, but not make her talk, or think about things she didn't want to, she'd eventually open up, she'd snap out of this silence she'd hidden herself in.

At that point, I even hoped she'd get mad at me again, blame it all on me, that it was my fault, that she'd yell at me, hit me, anything - just _anything_ really, that was a reaction to all this.

Right now, she just sat there, she hardly left her room and when she did, she avoided looking at anyone who'd take it as an invitation to start a conversation.

Right now, there was just too much silence.

* * *

And then, of course, it got worse.

The first thing was the headline. Apparently someone had seen us in the hospital and taken the opportunity to write an article worthy of the front page.

_**Friend of the Chosen One suffers**** miscarriage**_

The article went on to discuss how she'd always had a _very_ close relationship with Harry, how he and Ginny weren't seen together as often lately, how she'd previously been dating Zabini (no mention of them living together for years) and how she'd recently moved in with and married me. The reporter (somehow they'd manage to stay anonymous) then showed exactly how Hermione had either slept with Harry and then been forced to marry me to cover things up, or had had an affair with me, after which Zabini (apparently broken hearted) threw her out. Strangely, there was no mention of Zabini's very French, very pregnant fiance anywhere. Then again: the man had money - big money, he might as well have known about the article and guaranteed that he wouldn't be mentioned in it in anything but a positive light.

Then came the letters, some saying she was a whore, some saying she was a slut, some asking her what love potions she'd used, some claiming her blood wasn't worthy of Zabini or me, some shouting in disgrace that she'd seduce the Boy-Who-Lived in such a vulgar manner, ...

Me, Harry (and I assumed Zabini) all got some letters as well, but Harry and I decided not to show them - she had enough on her plate as it was, and the fact that we got called some names wasn't really anything we wanted to worry her about.

Then there were the packages that didn't seem to come from anywhere, and somehow always managed to get near-Dark objects past the wards. Again, Harry and I managed to divert most of them after recharging the wards every day for a week.

And it was strange, but somehow, seeing those horrible things on paper, Hermione slowly started to live again - she'd come ask me what I was cooking, or see what Ginny was working on, and then suddenly she'd be quiet again. But every day I'd notice something new she'd do - the first time she ate with us again, the first time she asked Harry how she was doing, ... It was a slow process, and most of the time she still was just so _sad_ - but somehow, by reading all those things people were 'yelling' at her, she'd found the power to fight again, be it with hesitant baby steps, she was trying again.

It got calm after that - and it seemed like a good thing: only 2 weeks had passed and already people were starting to forget about it, like they eventually did about everything. Looking back, I should've realized that was just wishful thinking - wizards never forgot anything, they just let it rest until they got bored of everything else.

Three days later, there were suddenly more letters, more packages, more people 'inconspicuously' walking past our house. And the letters seemed to have gotten crueller, picking Hermione out more than anyone - not just telling her she was this or that, but telling her exactly how she should be handled, how she should be punished. I didn't know what came over those people, and I didn't think I wanted to know. I just knew that there was one letter that Hermione read that hurt her more than any other.

As it turned out, the French girl hadn't know about Hermione and Zabini - and apparently, finding out through the newspapers, wasn't how she wanted to find out, so she wrote Hermione a letter that was somehow worse than all those other letters together. Because she told Hermione how happy Zabini was with her now, how he'd explained to her that he'd never even wanted anything to do with her, but she just 'wouldn't let off', how she thought that Hermione wasn't even worth enough to breath the same air as she did, how she couldn't believe that Hermione could still walk around, how ashamed Hermione had to be of her behaviour and most of all - how she heard all of Hermione's lowly behaviour from _dear Blaise__._

After that, I was afraid Hermione would hide in the silence again. It was bad enough knowing that Blaise had stopped liking or loving her, but to hear now that he'd never even done as much - I didn't know how she would get over that, but somehow it seemed to make her stronger. In a weird, twisted way, it seemed to give her comfort. As Ginny explained it: she'd been mourning something that she'd now found out was never really there - and while that made the hurt that much worse, it also gave her some perspective, so to say. She still cried herself to sleep every night, but through the day, she would come sit with us, and although she obviously wasn't ready yet to face the world again, she could face us, and that in itself was a triumph.

As the letters kept coming (even those addressed to Ginny and Harry somehow found their way to our home), they decided to join us there, watching the people who thought they weren't obtrusive, reading the letters to each other, trying to find the funniest amongst the insults. Hermione didn't join us, but at least she was sitting in the kitchen, instead of trying to hide inside her room.

It was as we were reading the letters, that Ginny suddenly started asking what we were going to wear to George's wedding. I have to admit, my first thought was: "How the hell did I forget about this?!" There was no best man - it had always been clear that that would be either Fred, or no one else - but I'd unofficially been promoted to 'stand behind George'-guy. His wedding was in a week, and I had completely, utterly forgotten about it. Somehow, in the middle of this mess, of Hermione, and the baby, and Zabini, and the press, my brother's wedding had been the last thing on my mind.

Looking at Hermione, though, I could see the look in her eyes - a wedding was the last place she needed to be right now, and I couldn't, just could not, leave her here alone, while I was partying and having a good time. It took me only a second - if it even was that long - to decide what I had to do. Family was important, it always would be, but right now Hermione needed me more. Firecalling George, I couldn't help but wonder when that had happened - when I'd subconsciously decided that helping Hermione would somehow always come first, but then again - hadn't it always?

Luckily, George agreed immediately - he, more than anyone, knew how much you could sometimes want to be alone, just so you wouldn't have to see other people's happiness. Because it hurt too much, to notice how absolutely empty you felt compared to them. He did have one condition, though: after the ceremony, the two of them would come over for a couple of minutes, to tell us all about how everything went.

One week later, just as I was about to start making lunch, I heard George and Angelina step through the fireplace. The way they looked at each other, you could almost feel how much they loved each other, and how much they'd wanted to _really_ be together. As George started recounting all the details, like how mum had begun to bowl when they honored Fred in the beginning of the ceremony, I saw Angelina drag Hermione to her room. Concentrating on the stories of Harry's smiles, and Charlie's new girlfriend, I quickly forgot my wonder at what they were going to do.

When the girls came back, the both of them now dressed in their most festive outfits, I didn't quite understand. Well, to be honest, my brain sort of stopped working the moment it got at 'Merlin, she looks beautiful'. Looking back at the smile on Angelina's face, she knew perfectly well what I was thinking, because she nodded at George, who then threw me a pair of dress robes, adding "Well, come on, don't let us wait here - we have a wedding to attend!"

Looking at Hermione, I could see the slight smile on her face, as she nodded to me that yes, she was sure of this.

When I came back, she was the only one in the room, looking slightly nervous.

I couldn't help but ask "Are you really sure about this Hermione? Because, I mean, I don't mind just staying home, you know, if you'd prefer that - I don't want you to feel like you have to just so I-"

She quickly cut me off there, smiling as she said "Yes, I'm sure - Angelina came over yesterday to ask me if I really didn't want to come. They promised I could go home anytime I felt it became too much, and, well..." She seemed to gather her courage here, as she continued "I'm going to have to face them sometime, I might as well do it now, when there's only friends."

I smiled and offered her my arm as we got ready to apparate - and I couldn't help but think:

I'm going to the wedding with Hermione!

_With Hermione_.

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**A/N I'm not completely happy with this chapter, but I just kept adding and deleting parts, so I just decided to go ahead and post it - I might rework it by the time I write the next chapter, but if I do, I'll be sure to mention it then. Also: in about a week time my finals start, so I'm not really sure when I'll be able to update -don't worry, though: update I will! Anyway, please let me know what you thought by reviewing, following and/or favoriting, and until the next time! Greetings!**


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